BESTIEBLOG :} trackers, dancers

When it falls apart.
about her | love story | about it | flyaway

Oh, thatgirl.

Qihui and Hannah for a long time now
little towns in SG,
schooling
Seen the world since 28 apr & 18 may.

She blogs, but seldom now.
She FBs more so catch her there! She'll never fail to be there for you!

Special thanks to the Designer
Email Msn Friendster Blogskins

Ideals

1. Bestie cameras
2. Our bintan holiday
3. Bestie to return for the holidays
4. More time with B and our friends
5. Roadtrips
6. Sushi buffet
7. Bestie lappies

we dont ever wanna lose you, come visit often.

Monday

WHAT'S UP WITH YOU?

Random: ALL THE BEST TO QIHUI AND WEIYEN FOR YOUR EXAMS!

IN VIEW OF ALL THE EVENTS THAT HAVE HAPPENED, THESE MADE ME GO AHHH.... 1) crystal's wedding 2) FB dps! 3) j&h's 10pm phonecall 4) papa's love story sharing (in detail) 5) testimony from pin & AJ 6) support for dancers in our YM!

Confrontational skills.
I am so not good at telling people I am hurt by them. I'd rather withdraw till another opportunity comes to make things better again. But this time, just this once, I gave her my all. I told her how i sincerely felt- that she was totally absent in my life and I'd lost another one of my pillars. You know sometimes when the house loses the very pillars that hold one together, family, friends and other external people. When they are taken away, then what is left of the house but a ruin? I feel like this right now, i cant seem to climb out of my negativity. I've felt feelings I never thought a positive person could ever possess. I'm stuck in the dumps and somehow i dont feel that vunerable to share. I guess acknowledging my emotions is one way to not run away from my problems. I am troubled but god has been gracious to me. he's sent friends. If jesus had 12 friends to see him thru the crucification, i have chrispin, mr. strawberry and uncle S!

Waiting.
We're all waiting for something and someone. An opportunity, a family member, a friend to come or just for the right person to make a move? When will it be my turn when I can catch the ball in my court so that I could play a decent game of tennis? Sometimes I feel really silly, I dont even know the blooming guy. I have barely said more than 10 words to him each month, I hardly converse more than a sentence to him. I feel pretty small and useless even though other people tell me otherwise. You know the little glances, catching him looking at me and looking away, the silly background goofy laughing at my jokes, the great wide smiles and honest shouldering the burdens the ministry has to offer. I like everything about him. But just for this once, I feel invisible, I feel like everytime i say hello, you just walk past me like I dont matter. Help me read your body language, whether positive or not so. I dont want to cry on my wedding day not because i'm happy, but because i didnt get to marry the best man!

My purpose driven life.
I have finally found what I am supposed to do for the rest of my time that tuition has ended. Just to glorify god here, my kid scored Band 1s for English and Science (80, 82 respectively) and for maths he did well as well! I am really grateful to god for allowing me to see his work in the boy's life and his transformation. He used to steal from his friends, now... he steals but returns it back! HAHA I see this as an improvement and the constant telling him that it's not right. Putting the prefectorial skills to good use. I want him to be model student too, so smart, so handsome, so talented. Woah! (: (: You know on the last day we had tuition, we both had the mutual no-mood to study and we were one more paper to go. He was restless and I was sad to go. He said to me, what if I dont like my new tuition teacher? In my mind, I was like there's no one who's like peanut butter and jelly than you and me. But then i told him, "you wont." Such a bully boy turn good! What satisfaction, really! (: Now he has a picture of us, he will remember me forever and so will I! So as I was saying... my purpose without tuition is that I'm going to allow god to take away my business, such he can refocus and help me re-priortise my time to spend with the people that mean the most to me, my family, my ah ma and whoever he gives me to mentor! Yupp (: (: BRING IT ON!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHIA SINGYEE!
We kinda stayed up the whole entire night just to do up a special surprise for our dearest wd babe! It's a sweet 18 eh! Oh and we really have to thank wen for helping to test the boards coming from 1000m away, across the HDBs, and she also ever so willingly had to stay up to wake her sister up, help us get her sister to the windowsill. HAHA We owe it so much to yiwen's help! THANKS! Oh and shina and ane and I had so much fun preparing and S****ing them. Such good heartfelt things sometimes are best exposed only at home eh? HAHA Funny la. I got to know them better, the things that interest them and make them feel small too. Life has been an educational journey, to see how their lives have changed according to how god made them special and put them through the different challenges to make them stronger, and draw them closer to him. (: (: Amazing! God makes all things possible, god makes all things good according to his good purpose! I have benefitted from their sharings, in participating in their lives, it gives me a purposeful meaning to just being me. I now have 3 sisters that I never had but always dreamt of having. I need to say this cos people need to know that when you pray, god answers your prayers and will provide for you in all that you need. Our god is a practical god! :D

Laying there, just you and I. Nothing could be more bonding than the silence.

Before the cupcakes could HEAVE UP! They had to been put thru Extreme HEAT!

Batter me batter!

Strawberries! (: (:

p.s. THANK GOD CHRISPIN IS OKAY NOW! :D Get well soon!

Tuesday

Picture of the previous Week!

I still think FO had a great picture too, with her purple Luscious lips! You know the modelling world is still "thinner is better" To me, London is so pretty and the type I'd like to see on billboards and bussigns and posters. It's really a shame. Tough competition and very pretty girls remain! Alison to me is the luckiest dollface ever.
Cant wait for this week's epi!

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_YmQOhxogs14/SedZ_xsJqAI/AAAAAAAAE28/yK75msAH_cQ/s400/fo.jpg

And just for a second of time, i kinda miss naima.
Peh and I loved her as much as we love fo together! (: (:

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/3000000/tyra-and-naima-mora-antm-winners-3030351-1024-768.jpg

I found a really sensual picture of Natalie. (:

http://brandonyeoh.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/nataliec12.jpg

Sunday

There is a difference between listening and Active listening. The sound of a locked door shuts people out both physically and emotionally.

http://divamomsradio.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/snack.jpg

Service starts in the mind. To be a servant requires a mental shift, a change in your attitudes. God is always more interested in WHY we do something then in what we do. Attitudes count more than achievements. King Amaziah lost God's favor because "he did what was right in the sight of the Lord, yet not with a true heart." Real servants serve God with a mindset of five attitudes.

1) Servants think more about others than about themselves
True humility is this: Not thinking less of ourselves but thinking of ourselves less. Real servants dont try to use God for their purposes. They let God use them for his purposes. How do you react when you're taken for granted, bossed around, or treated as an inferior, The bible says "If someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life."

2) Servants think like stewards, not owners
How am I handling the resources that God has entrusted to me? To become a real servant I am going to have to settle the issue of money in my life. Jesus said, "No servant can serve two masters...You cannot serve both God and Money." He didnt say "You should not," but "You cannot." All my time belongs to God. He insists on exclusive allegience, not part-time faithfulness. Money has the greatest potential to replace God in my life. More people are sidetrack from serving by materialism than anything else. They say, "After I achieve my financial goals, I'm going to serve God." When Jesus is your master, money serves you, but if money is your master, you become its slave. Wealth is definitely not a sin, but failing to use it for God's glory is. How you manage your money affects how much God can bless your life. (: (:

3) Servants think about their work, not what others are doing
They dont compare, criticize, or compete with other servants or ministries. They're too busy doing the work God has given them. There is no place for petty jealousy. When you're busy serving, you dont have time to be critical. Any time spent criticising others is time that could be spent ministering. Competition between God's servants is illogical for many reasons: We're all on the same team, our goal is to make God look good, not ourselves, we've been given different assignments, and we're all uniquely shaped. God gives us different passions, so that everything he wants done in the world will get done.

4) Servants base their identity in Christ
If I am going to serve, I must be settle my identity in Christ. Only secure people can serve. Insecure people are always worrying about how they appear to others. I fear exposure of my weaknesses and hide beneath layers of protective pride and pretensions. The more insecure I am, the more I want people to serve me, the more I need their approval. The closer I get to Jesus, the less I need to promote myself.

5) Servants think of ministry as an opportunity, not an obligation
They enjoy helping people, meeting needs, and doing minstry. They "serve the Lord with gladness." Because they love the Lord, they're grateful for his grace, they know serving is the highest use of life, and they know God has promised a reward. Paul said, "He will not forget how hard you have worked for him and how you have shown your love to him by caring for other Christians." It doesnt matter your age, God will use you if you will begin to act and think like a servant. Am I willing to be one of these people?

-Credits to Rick Warren, the purpose driven life

Friday

Seeking direction.

http://collagediva.typepad.com/.a/6a010536104739970b01156fbd7723970c-800wi

Man, am I lost? I still remember there was one time Ian and I got lost on our way to the Man U Cafe, clarke quay. HAHA I dont know if he knew, i loved that he was so patient with me you know. It's like i keep telling him i know how to go by looking at the map. He walked with me for 1hour, not the least impatient but so eager to help us get to where we were to go. We went in circles, following circumference, sweating! HAHA I know he comes here to visit sometime, so i just wanna give a shout out to IAN! (: (: You're the most patient person I know! Seriously! Thank you for seeing me thru 3 years , from orientation till now. You've taught me more about myself. Thank you for taking such good care of me, always! I feel safe to go out with you. You'll protect me from the crowds! I trust you that much! (: (:

Planning

Planning

Planning

Well I am indeed seriously lost you know. I dont know what i'm going to be doing a month from now. Okay maybe sooner than that? I might take up a part time job, as ck suggested. Maybe work behind a yoghurt store, would they hire an ugly duckling like me? Oh i was thinking maybe trying a night shift working behind the scenes - literally. MOOOVIES! I dont know. HAHA I want to have something more to do with my life other than just working and working. I want to INJECT excitement and LIFE, meet people, touch more lives, learn new things! Routine work gets boring after some time. Every now and then , we kinda need days like Fridays where you can chill and do things at a comfortable pace, get to read up and take stock of knowledge of other scientist's/ researcher's work published in journals. HAHA Knowledge feeds the body! It's like water, brain food! I have em' troubles and worries as like any secular person would. How godly can a P's daughter be? The answer: I'm just like anyone else. haa I am no different. (: (:

Just this christmas, I hope to spend time with my friends and family without having to sit behind a stupid bright lit screen (mobile/mail) to tell them i love them very much and hear them speak and talk to me, smile at me, cry together, whatever! (: My christmas wish!

Thursday

Beside you.

http://www.burningwaters.blogspot.com

http://www.burningwaters.blogspot.com

Setting up the christmas lights along raffles boulevard is truly making a bold statement that the anticipation for xmas has begun to stir up in one's heart. Dear xmas! Tis the season that ck returned with a trophy- she had the highest votes and my, did she make AN IMPRESSION. Sometimes we give more than we can just because we have the ability to do so. I'm so glad her best was good enough for the people who heard her, spent time with her and spoke with her. She was indeed the best of the best because she gave HER BEST and god used that for good. :) :)

Freedom: is a late night movie and returning 'home' without having to tell her i was out. It is also sleeping late without anyone breathing down and nagging down your neck. I enjoyed spending other people's money cos i didnt have to feel the pinch. I enjoyed that I could live on my own , with someone. It felt like i was alone but yet not. HAHA Cant really explain it but it felt good to come 'home' to clean sheets, made beds, replenished toiletries. :) :) Freedom to me was the word 'DIFFERENT' for a change ?

We all live different lives, BUT how come, her life seems more pleasant than mine? She has a bigger house, has better skin, has a taller leaner body, she has a surfaced-tight-knit family, she cooks, she is efficient, she's just everything I feel small about, or not that adequately equipped with at that moment. Sometimes i have to remind myself that we do have different lives and not everything that i feel small about, i have to change.

http://www.burningwaters.blogspot.com
You know i dont hate my kid that much anymore. I wish he could see that i will remember him forever and that i hope he does well for his exams. I have practically watered this plant the entire year and i saw it germinate, saw it grow to become a seedling and now it just keeps growing bigger and bigger (smarter and smarter). But once again i was just the pillar of wood that farmers usually put to stand beside the weak suckers (that's the scientific general term for twines). I stood by to see my plant shower and scrub with natural rain, warmth and oxygen. I stood to see god working in his life. He asked me about christianity very randomly and asked me how he can become a christian. I told him to say the sinners' prayer (but cos i didnt have it on me, and i think his family wouldnt really appreciate that I said it with him at his young tender still almost innocent age) so yeah i left it as that. I found the purpose for me being there, i was just to practically teach him, make him LIKE the subject and develop an interest. He was bruised and broken, like a left alone rusty railway track, needing to pick up each piece and weld it back- i'm really thankful for the opportunity and continue to look forward to more of such transformation of lives, as i age. A heart to change the world, to throw just one starfish back into the sea again. :) :)

Some recommendations for the week:
GOOD SERVICE AT 1) Secret recipe , Tampines1
GOOD SERVICE AT 2) SONY, Wisma Atria
3) Ending off, more hope in god
4) Worldly gain will not become my god, i will make sure